Saturday, June 16, 2007

Practicing Solitude


These past two weekends, Samantha and the kids have been gone to visit family and friends, so they have left me home alone. Knowing I would miss my family these last two weekends, I was still looking forward to some alone time. I was actually looking forward to practicing solitude. As an extrovert, these are troubling words to write, but in my world now with two young kids my time is not my own. There are very few moments anymore when I can choose to spend my time however I wish. So I went into last weekend with purpose to do what I wanted to do.

The first thing I noticed was how efficient my weekend was. I wasn’t waiting on anyone, and no one was waiting on me. Food prep and was minimal as I was only cooking for one, and since there was no food spilled on the floor to wipe up, the clean up duty was a snap! If I wanted to go somewhere, I just hopped in the car to go, no wrestling children in car seats and gathering snacks for the journey, etc. I was also able to accomplish some projects around the house as well. I was streamlined, and I was firing on all cylinders. However, by Friday night, I became restless.

While I was able to get a lot done, I was still restless. I wanted the weekend to be a practice of solitude, but in actual fact I was practicing accomplishing tasks and celebrating the to do lists that I was able to get through. I wound up tired from the day’s activities, and I lacked the rejuvenation I was expecting from such accomplishments. The fact is, I wanted to share my accomplishments with my family, but they were not around. Instead of taking advantage of these desires to connect with others through prayer, I turned on the television to numb the longing and tune out my heart’s cry.

Saturday was much of the same thing as Friday. It took me till Sunday for me to start paying attention to God’s knock at the door of my heart. While alone, I was not practicing solitude because I was filling my time with tasks and busy things to do. I was not taking advantage of the solitude I was afforded. The truth is it is hard to face your soul when you are alone. But it is in that confrontation that the Lord met me.

The fear I had in coming to God during my weekend at home alone, was transformed into an expression of joy with God. I will spare you all the details, but one thing in particular was, as always, unexpected. I was captured again with the communion of God…the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In finally being able to willingly put aside the to-dos and the distractions, I was able to enjoy the presence of God in my life. Again, He revealed the ways he has been at work in my life. I left last weekend with a deep appreciation that I am indeed not alone in this world and that the things that happen in my life are not random but purposeful, kingdom events in which I am called to participate with God.

I share this with you because solitude is counter-intuitive. Not many of us have the stomach for it. Practicing solitude seems to be self-destructive when everything in our hearts is crying out for community! Yet, it is the very thing that helps us to understand that we are indeed not alone in this world and that all of our life is meaningful.

Pray with me, that we would be a community that takes such bold risks in our faith as to intentionally make room in our lives for solitude so that we can hear God’s voice above the rest of the voices in our lives.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Watering

As I have said before in past news updates, I am being schooled in the art of gardening. This past week, I have learned another valuable lesson from the little corner of earth I am called to shepherd.

This spring I was able to rescue my grass and plants from the evils spirits of dandelions, crab grass, and a host of other unnamed weeds. It took a great deal of work, but my grass started taking off in late April and early May. The grass was actually becoming a thick, rich green turf! My plants started showing signs of life again as new buds and shoots started to appear on my bushes and plants! This was exciting, and I said to myself, “Son, you might just have a green thumb after all!” So, I stopped tending the yard and plants so intensely. I kicked back every evening in May to play with my children when I got home from work in the beautiful grass. After they went to bed, I would sneak back outside in the cool of the evening to watch the sun set on my prospering plants. This feeling of joy, serenity even, I took from the beauty I had created lasted a solid three weeks.

However, at the beginning of week 4, I looked out my window to soak in some of the beauty I created at the start of my day only to find my grass withered and brown and the new shoots on my bushes and plants decimated. Needless to say what I felt was not serenity, it was desperation.

Once more, I had to consult my plant and grass physician. I demanded to know why my plants stopped growing! I accused him of selling me grass that was of some lesser quality! I was angry that someone or something had taken away my little corner of beauty! His answer was shocking. He said, “Scott, you are the one who took away your little corner of beauty.” He went on to explain to me that the plants and grass, though they look really good and show signs of maturity, are not mature at all. Their roots will take a good three years to sink deep into the soil for their nourishment. It was my job to provide them with the nourishment they need now. So with those words, I was called back into my corner of earth, not to gain serenity from, but to shepherd and tend to maturity.


I don’t know about you, but I am so much like my young grass and plants. I get to a place that looks like maturity in my faith, and then I stop pursuing the things that nourish my soul. I expect that I have gotten what I have needed to live a life of faith, and I should just be able to naturally walk in faith from here on out. Mark’s sermon this past week on rest reminded me that it is not my body alone that needs rest, but it is my soul. My soul needs rest from the punishment and hits it takes throughout the week from bosses, agendas, marketing, disappointments, workload, friends, family, production, and burdens. I need to carve out time in my life in order to nourish my soul on good things, otherwise I will wake up one morning and wonder why my soul is so withered and brown like my plants and grass was after not watering them for three weeks.

It takes a lifetime for us to develop deep roots in the Spirit. We should not leave our transformation to chance or happenstance. Pray with me that we will become a persevering and patient community as we take advantage of the Sabbath not to rest our bodies, but to rest our souls on the very words of our Creator.